It’s not easy to explain how this started with a bear named Lotso from Toy Story, but it
I have not had a sense of smell since the age of 13, so my husband attempting to explain to me that the stuffed Lotso bear we bought Wren for Christmas smelled like strawberries-“but not really, more strawberry flavored, faux strawberries”- turned fairly comical. There was a lot of me nodding, and him trying to explain it again, and me staring at him and trying to pretend I sort of knew what he was talking about, but he knew I didn’t. Finally, I said, “this is my Jesus year,” which I think confused him.
It’s how I’ve felt. I embarked on my Jesus year in 2012, and so much has happened. I did not stop the Jesus year upon turning 34, obviously, but so many good, deep, life-changing things happened during that time. I will be 35 in August, and my relationship with Jesus is so different, so full, so beautiful. Every day something draws me closer or makes me dig deeper, or I have a bad day and then Jesus takes me back, pulls me in. It’s breathtaking. And it is very hard to explain. Like smelling Lotso if your nose doesn’t work. Or trying to understand what a person who can smell means when he describes Lotso’s smell when you have never smelled faux strawberries.
My fear has been that in trying to explain my Jesus year and beyond I would screw it up. It wouldn’t make sense to anyone but me. There would be no way I could possibly do it justice. So I didn’t.
But now I am going to try through a blog series called What I’ve Learned. God spoke to me through music, books, people, some who liked me and some who were “indifferent to my questions.” I’m going to post what I learned from each of these, how God used them. It’s on the blog, so it’s out there, and maybe someone will catch the scent and it will smell like something you can relate to and that would be good. Maybe it won’t. But God has taken me to a place where I need to write, to get it out, maybe just for myself. I don’t really know.
I’m writing six entries at a time and will post one daily except Sundays until I am finished. That will be, at the least, a month. It’s a way to write, revise, make sure that to the best of my ability I’ve conveyed what I want, what I felt, what I still feel. I’m excited to start, but here’s my advice: get to know Jesus. He can explain it better.