Sunday, September 9, 2018

Trusting the Process: Persevering In August

Homeschool Planning

First day of kindergarten, 2nd grade, and 4th grade




Working in pajamas


I spent weeks in August planning our homeschool calendar until Christmas. It was hard and rewarding work, especially since we just finished the first week and everything, so far, is going according to plan.

Planning doesn't mean we'll stay perfectly on track, but it gives me daily goals to shoot for, and I need that.

Running

Running might not be the right word for what I'm doing. Jogging is probably a stretch. It's not walking, not dying on the sidewalk, but I'm sure I don't look like one of those really determined runners who just can't get enough. I think the expression on my face probably reads, I really love this, oh shit, I'm going to die, slow down, wait I can't go any slower without stopping. Yay for me because I'm still moving! Oh, I really might die. But it's been great, and I mean that sincerely.

I won't be posting about dramatic weight loss or how many sizes I've gone down because I am not weighing or attempting to drop inches during this process. If it happens, okay, but this is about how I feel.

After I weaned the twins and my body did not come back to me with the same functioning parts as it had before all my pregnancies, I started losing hope that I would ever again feel strong or have endurance. Add in mental health issues, and I wondered what had happened to the girl who used to work out for fun for hours a day or who hiked through mountains in Oregon. I wanted to hang out with her again.

I started very slowly, and I will likely remain very slow. I'm on week six of the Couch to 5K program, but I have no intentions of running a 5K or a marathon or anything really. I want to be able to run three solid miles just because, anytime I want. If I get there and want to do more, great. If not, I'm good.

Sidenote: Any Meniere's sufferers should know that running is great for the condition. I know, how the hell are you supposed to run when you can barely stand and have trouble hearing cars that might mow you down as you trot? You don't until you are ready.

My chiropractor, who I have been seeing forever and who has been helping me deal with my Meniere's since the beginning, said, "Running is one of the best things you can do for vestibular disorders" after I told him I was about to start running. I asked why he had never told me this before, and he said I wasn't ready before. The Meniere's had wrecked me, and he didn't want to send me out to fall on my face, literally, before my body was in a better place. Now that it is, he is cheering me on. That, and adjusting my sore but happy body.


Panda Planning

My friend showed me her Panda Planner when we were having coffee one night, and I was intrigued. When I received an Amazon gift card for my birthday, I decided to take a chance and purchase one. I still use my other planner on occasion, but the Panda Planner has definitely taken center stage in my everyday life.

Using positive psychology and a layout that offers a chance to write down monthly, weekly, and daily goals, this planner is the first thing I grab in the morning when I wake up and the last thing I write in before going to bed. I have been more productive and have been able to see where I lose time since using this planner. It's my new personal favorite.

Creating

The calm down kit is created.
The art/dining/homeschool room is painted.
I am creating pockets of quality time with each child, pretty much daily. It may just be snuggling in the chair or going outside to look at bugs, but it's focused. This time can slow down a chaotic day and bring me back to focusing on who and what is right in front of me.

It's called stormy blue, and I love it.

Shake something, spin something, draw something: just calm down.


Monday, September 3, 2018

August Book List

Here are a dozen fabulous books to choose from. Enjoy!

Fiction

No One Ever Asked by Katie Ganshert

A friend put this book on my radar, and I am so glad she did. Ganshert develops her characters beautifully in a way that reminds me of Liane Moriarty, but the story was all her own and it resonates.

Camille, Anaya, and Jen's lives overlap because a school in Missouri loses its accreditation, and the well off people of Crystal Ridge are forced to let these students attend their schools. Among protests and tension, Ganshert shares the personal lives of these women while also addressing the storm brewing in the community because of the changes. She is brilliant at creating understanding and sympathy, offering complex, flawed characters that readers will care about, and opening the eyes of readers to the real-life racism that exists throughout this country. This is a must read, and you won't be able to put it down.


Any Man by Amber Tamblyn

I had know idea actress Amber Tamblyn also wrote, but after reading this book I will likely pick up more of her work. Tamblyn takes a look at rape culture through the lens of men who are being preyed on by a merciless female rapist named Maude. Using poetic prose, texts, messenger, tweets, and conventional chapters, Tamblyn makes the reader feel compassion and shines a light on not only the horrors of rape but the horrors of the after, the shame, the trauma, and the victim blaming.

This one is a quick read because it's hard to put down and is as terrifying as it is sympathetic. Even being a relatively short book the characters are full and multi-dimensional, and it's not hard for readers to connect with them. I devoured this one and then passed it to friends.

The Word is Murder by Anthony Horowitz

Horowitz has a way of messing with readers' minds right from the very start. In Magpie Murders, he offers readers a book within a book, a mystery within a mystery, and it is brilliant. In The Word is Murder, the protagonist is, well Horowitz, and he reveals so much detail about the narrator(him) that matches up with his real life that it's hard to remember this is fiction and Horowitz did not, in fact, live this story(as far as we know).

A woman goes to a funeral home to plan her funeral service so her family won't have to. That night, she's found dead. Coincidence? Not in Horowitz's book. His narrator teams up with a Sherlock Holmes type so he can write about the case and help the detective make a name for himself. What unfolds are unforgettable characters and a story that left me guessing until the end. Grab this one for a summer read since fall is still technically three weeks away, and we're still baking here in Texas.


The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai

This book slaughtered me. At over 400 pages, it's lengthy, but the chapters are short and alternate between the point of view of Yale in 1985, a gay man living in Chicago during the AIDS outbreak of the 80s, and Fiona in 1995 who is looking for her daughter in Paris. How their stories overlap and the devastation of the AIDS crisis are revealed in beautiful writing that builds characters the reader will care for, root for, and cry for.

Makkai doesn't leave out the hard parts, like how AIDS victims were treated when the disease was considered a gay man's disease or how the U.S. watched its own citizens die after the battle they fought left them largely isolated since most people feared going near them. She touches on friendship and family and what it means to lose those around you while still being left in the world. It's a heartbreaking and wonderful book.


The Book of Essie by Meghan MacLean Weir

Esther Hicks has been on television her whole life because her family stars in Six for Hicks, a reality show based around their religion. Essie's teen pregnancy doesn't play well with the hellfire morals they preach, so her mother makes a plan to deal with the pregnancy in a way that benefits the family and their ratings. Essie, however, has a plan of her own, and she enlists a classmate named Roarke and a reporter, Liberty, to help her pull it off.

This story was beautiful and horrifying due to Weir's ability to tap into the reader's emotions and push every button. None of it felt contrived, and that's why it worked. The characters were real, some of the plot lines could have been ripped from the news, and the back stories given along the way for Essie, Roarke, and Liberty moved the story along at precisely the right speed. I wanted to stand and applaud when I turned the last page while simultaneously wanting to start the whole book again.

Tell the Machine Goodnight by Katie Williams

The Apricity machine tells users the three things they need to do to be happy by testing their DNA, and Pearl is one of the employees who gives these tests and reads the results. Results can range from taking a walk to cutting off an appendage, and those who believe in the machine's suggestions are adamant about its knowledge, though some, like Pearl's son, have their doubts. Isn't this just another attempt to sell happiness to desperate consumers?

William's story deals with our obsession with happiness and technology while also expertly weaving in our preoccupation with fame and the complications of personal relationships. I felt like she touched on so many topics, including art and betrayal, and she did it in a way that felt authentic every time.

Each chapter seems to shift focus to a different character, but the book is beautifully interconnected and satisfying. I was surprised how much I enjoyed this one. It's one that leaves you thinking, and I always love those.

The Shakespeare Requirement by Julie Schumacher

I was touched by Schumacher's Dear Committee Members, almost to the point of being in tears when I finished it. It was hilarious because Schumacher has her finger on the pulse of the absurdities of academia, but it was touching and sincere as well.

Schumacher picks up her tale of Jay in this sequel, who is now department head and dealing with an Econ department that wants to cut the English department completely out of the equation.
Still heartfelt and full of characters I cared about, it didn't strike the same note for me as "Dear Committee Members." However, as a former English major, I always have a place for the writer brave enough to defend liberal arts and pull together a cast of professors who remind me of the ones I had in college. This is a solid book and Schumacher is reliable at portraying imperfect but lovable characters.

You Think It, I'll Say It: Stories by Curtis Sittenfeld

I love short story collections and don't read nearly enough of them. Curtis Sittenfeld made me grateful that I picked this one up since she writes beautiful modern stories that peel back the layers of human behavior and emotions using characters that any of us could know or be in real life.

In "A Regular Couple" a couple on their honeymoon struggle with their differences while also contending with an acquaintance from high school. "Prairie Wife" follows Kirsten as she tries to figure out if the now very public life of a past friend is real or posed. "Do-Over" takes a look at the casual sexism in everyday life and what happens when two people attempt to confront the past.

These stories often go to unexpected places, but they don't feel contrived or manipulating. Sittenfeld is just good at looking at how humans work and pulling back the curtain on our behavior. I highly recommend this one. Take a story a day, if you can pace yourself, because each one will leave you with a lot to think about when you finish.

Nonfiction

When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir  by Patrisse Khan-Cullors and asha bandele

Patrisse Khan-Cullors, one of the founders of the Black Lives Matter Movement, writes candidly about her life and her mission in this memoir. The entire book was captivating, including Khan-Cullors journey through her personal life. It felt the strongest to me when she discussed national issues, specific cases that led her to  help found BLM, and the discrimination she faced for simply doing so.

After the killing of police officers in Dallas at a BLM rally by a rogue gunman, Khan-Cullors and other movement leaders were labeled terrorists, and she is able to set the record straight and explain why BLM is a necessary and non-violent group(the BLM leaders denounced the gunman, who had no connection to the BLM movement). However, many taunted the BLM movement leaders with the terrorist label, and I am glad the founders are using their voices to explain the important work they are doing, as well as how and why.

Body Full of Stars: Female Rage and My Passage into Motherhood by Molly Caro May

I was drawn to this book for personal reasons. May struggled with postpartum rage likely connected to PMDD after the birth of her daughter. Oddly, my mental health issues connected to PMDD and a couple of other factors started after my youngest hit the toddler phase, but I wanted to read the words of someone else who had been through it. May's words were exactly what I needed.

May's writing has a poetic element while also cutting to the basics of any sentiment. She explores her physical body's connection to her emotions and her mental health, and encourages women to get back in touch with their bodies. May's not afraid to shed light on what female rage looks like and the effect it can have on others, and she's breathtakingly honest about what she's gone through in her female form.

I wish women were warned that getting the baby out of the body is not always the beginning of the healing process, that there are times when other things break, though I'm not sure I would have wanted to have heard that while pregnant or trying to conceive because it's a lot to handle. Plus, I don't think I would have believed it. This book is for the woman who needs to hear now that she is not alone, that giving birth to a child can feel like new life and the death of certain parts of her physical health. It can mean rage, but it can also mean healing.

I Can't Date Jesus: Love, Sex, Family, Race, and Other Reasons I've Put My Faith in Beyoncé by Michael Arceneaux

I heard Arceneaux speak about this book on NPR's Fresh Air, and I decided to grab it based on that interview. Arceneaux is from Houston, and he defines himself as a recovering Catholic. As a gay, black man, the church and his family don't know what to do with him, leading him to question his faith. His essays deal with that struggle and other issues he's faced throughout life.

These essays were both hilarious and touching, telling and hard to put down. Most of us have questioned why our churches and faith leaders draw the lines in certain places and not others, and Arceneaux does a wonderful job of exploring this openly and sharing the effect it's had on his life. He also explores dating, the college life at Howard, and his personal Queen, Beyoncé. There's a lot here, and it's good.

Creativity Takes Courage: Dare to Think Differently by Irene Smit and Astrid van der Hulst

There is pretty much nothing that the editors of Flow produce in book form that I don't buy, and I don't frequently buy books. I'm a library lover, but readers need to purchase this interactive journal that offers tips for tapping into creativity, as well as ways to set realistic goals that can lead to life-changing results.

Each chapter discusses a way to tap into creativity, such as spending time alone or going off-line, and there are tiny workbooks or questions at the end of almost every chapter. This allows the reader to write down their intentions and discover ways they want to grow their creativity. I love it.