Simplicity: The Mental Health Edition

October had a bit of a rough start.  The shooting in Vegas, the death of Tom Petty, personal complications, they all landed and stuck in my brain.  The way I felt the first couple of weeks of this month can best be described as a baby who has been varnished with sand paper.  I was just so raw.

Then the Weinsten charges and the #MeToo started, and a lot more bad feelings rose to the surface.  

I've had some struggles with anxiety and depression the last couple of years, and though dealing with the health problems that set off the bad flojo mojo in my brain has helped a lot, I'm not immune to down days.  It probably did not help that I chose a down day to pick up The Bell Jar to reread, but that's neither here nor there.

This was me.

Courtesy of pics.me.me

The problem is that I never remember how to crawl back to the light when I'm in the darkness.  Understand that oftentimes will has nothing to do with it.  Some people need medication.  I need 40 supplements a day.  I'm not talking about some kind of mind over matter BS.  Get help when you need help, and don't be ashamed about it.

It's just that I'm already receiving tons of support and knew that my sadness was situational, and I still had a hard time pulling out of it.  I didn't want to try.  I wanted to curl up and live in the black fog at the same time I wanted to be rid of it.

What finally gave me a lift was accidentally stumbling onto the things that help me cope.  I didn't go out seeking them.  I was too busy reading The Bell Jar, remember?  I just got up every day and was reminded of what helps when I'm in a funk. 

My tips, in case you need them.

Be around people, even if you don't want to, but only for as long as you can take it.  Choose awesome people. 

Do one thing on the to-do list.  Make the phone call.  Pay the bill. Remember that you are capable of functioning.

Self-talk it out. Get to the core of why you feel bad.  Look for solutions.  Accept it when there are none.

Slow way, way down. Read the extra bedtime story, opt for crazy slow mornings, spend more time than necessary on a science experiment that involves dirt that will forever be stuck on the baseboards.  Moving in slower fashion helps us appreciate all the little things that are actually quite big.

Cry with someone who loves you.  It's fine.  They might cry, too.