For over two years I've been working to get my mental health on course. This has taken the form of dealing with Meniere's disease symptoms, taking supplements for adrenal issues, having my thyroid meds adjusted, and being treated for anemia. I started a progesterone supplement a few months ago hoping that would knock out the last of the anxiety and depression I sometimes deal with, but after a promising start, it stopped working.
On July 7th, I took my first Prozac. I talked to my OB about both PMDD and my Meniere's, and she thinks they are overlapping to introduce me to a fresh hell every month. When she offered an antidepressant, I didn't even hesitate. I knew when I called her that I was ready to take whatever was offered.
I'm still taking extra omegas and exercising, drinking my water and meditating, and I feel like doing those things more often now that I'm on Prozac. There are side effects and I feel them at times, but they aren't more distracting than what I was going through before, so we'll see.
An antidepressant doesn't make a person happy, but it does give me a choice, a buffer, a distance from my emotions that I didn't have before. I respond, not just react. I feel more like me, the me I was before my body and brain just sort of collapsed. I am so grateful for that.
I am glad I finally committed to this because I avoided it for too long, I fear. It was like I had been shot but refused to see a doctor because I wasn't quite dead, just bleeding profusely. If I could have even a slice of a good day, I talked myself out of medication. This is not the way to go about things. I'm so thankful to all the people in my life who have been open about their mental health struggles. I admired the way they persevered in taking care of their mental health, and now I'm joining them.
Cooking with Kids
Some people may have always loved getting in the kitchen and cooking with their kids, but I was not one of them. It's messy, it takes twice as long, and our flour costs $12 a bag. I had to bite my tongue to keep from screaming when it came flying out of the bowl while children attempted to stir.
Now that my oldest are actually capable of making something without leaving the kitchen looking like a crime scene, they helped menu plan in July and used a cookbook to buy ingredients for some great meals. Then, they either helped cook them or cooked them on their own. It was beautiful and tasty. Also, being on Prozac most definitely helped this process go smoothly for me.
I've decided to kick it 1980s style and not start homeschooling the kids again until after Labor Day. We spent July swimming, on play dates, and making no particular plans for the future. Wren's curriculum arrives this week so I can start planning for September, but until then I am strictly about the summer vibes.