Monday, November 5, 2018

October Book List + A Bonus Fall Reading List

I grabbed a couple of mysteries and crime novels in October because it felt appropriate. Plus, they were on my list and available at my library.

Fiction

Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney

The unreliable narrator technique has to be used wisely to work, and Feeney does that with this novel, letting readers know in the title that lies are going to be told.

Amber can't speak or move but is cognizant of her surroundings. She can't remember how she ended up in the hospital, but she fears her husband had something to do with it. As we hear both Amber's thoughts and conversations between the visitors in her room, including her sister Claire, the story comes together in a surprising way that led to an ending I did not expect. This one was hard to put down and kept me up at night.

Sunburn by Laura Lippman

I love Lippman's ability to write a good crime novel while still making the characters more of a center than the crime. She understands human motivations and instincts, and this makes her exceptional at crafting work that doesn't feel contrived or forced.

Polly flees Delaware to escape her life, and she meets Adam. They begin what is supposed to be a summer fling, but with both the emotions and the secrets between them, what will happen when summer ends? When a mutual acquaintance dies under suspicious circumstances, questions have to be asked about how well each knows the other. I really enjoyed this one by Lippman.

The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin

Wren had to read this book for book club, and she asked me to join her. I always wanted to read it and already had a copy, so we set out to see who killed Sam Westing and where his seemingly sinister game would lead.

This was a fast-paced, enjoyable read. I was guessing until the very end, and it was fun to read it with my daughter.

Mrs. by Caitlin Macy

Moms of children who attend a posh school in New York have secrets to hide and a lot to lose in this novel by Caitlin Macy. We learn specifically about three different women, their marriages, their pasts, and what happens when secrets are spilled.

"Mrs."  has been described as possibly the next "Big Little Lies", but I didn't connect with Macy's characters the way I do with Moriarty's. The book deals with important issues and is intriguing, but when I turned the last page I felt like I was viewing the characters and the plot through a tunnel instead of being engrossed. I don't regret reading it, but I wasn't blown away by it either.

How to Walk Away by Katherine Center

Margaret's dream life is derailed in an instant after a tragic accident, and she has to figure out how to survive in this thoughtful novel by Katherine Center. Trapped in a hospital with her estranged sister, a very cranky physical therapist, and a kind-of fiancé, Margaret goes through the phases of grief while coming to terms with family secrets and her new, unexpected life.

The protagonist is lovable and the story works well. I enjoyed this one.

Ghosted by Rosie Walsh

I have a confession: I unfairly and harshly judge all books in the romance section. I know, it's gross and elitist, and it's fine for people to enjoy the bodice ripping, hunky male cover books as much as I absolutely don't. Luckily, "Ghosted" was not what I imagined a stereotypical romance novel to be, and I feel like it didn't really even fit in that section (general fiction, maybe?)  I enjoyed it thoroughly and had to question all of my previous judgments of books based on genre.

When Sarah meets Eddie, they hit it off during the week they have together. That makes Eddie's disappearance even harder for Sarah to grasp. Did she imagine the whole experience was more than it really was? Did she slip up somewhere without knowing?

What we don't tell people is just as important as what we do, and as Walsh reveals the story of these lovers, we learn about their pasts and why they might feel the need to hide the details. I was intrigued and surprised until the very end.

Memoir

No One Tells You This by Glynnis MacNicol

I spent a couple of years as both the youngest and the only unmarried trainer in Texas for a major bank. A manager came to me and explained that as travel demands picked up, I might notice I was receiving more travel assignments than other people in my department. He went on to explain that this was because of my situation. "You have no people like the other employees." In his mind, unmarried and childless meant no people.

MacNicol addresses this attitude, the one we often have towards those whose lives haven't taken a conventional or expected direction, in her beautiful memoir. She talks about the death of her mother, the relationships she's tolerated, her career breakdown, and the realization that her life can and is enough.

I was particularly struck by MacNicol's ability to kindly point out sins we're all guilty of, even those of us who were victims of them in earlier stages of life. We expect the single, child-free people in our lives to take care of us, to arrange the showers and the parties and the events, because whether or not we acknowledge it, we all easily slip into the you-have-no-people mentality. We forget that every person needs care, and no one's choices or situations are subpar.

This is a great read for anyone, especially those in midlife, no matter your marriage or parental status.

My Favorite Fall and Winter Reads

I pick these books up again almost every fall or winter because it feels like the right time to live in these worlds. Most of them have some darkness or rough edges, and when the sun starts setting at 5:30, it feels appropriate to settle in with something on the ominous side.



The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova

This book takes readers across the globe as a young woman reads through letters addressed to "My dear and unfortunate successor" and tries to figure out whether or not to go on a journey to find her father. The writing is beautiful and the story will send chills down your spine. Think vampires, Vlad the Impaler, and suspense that will keep you up all night reading.

Rich in history, love, and darkness, I am drawn to this one almost every year in November, and though it was optioned for a movie, I'm glad it wasn't made. I don't want the images in my mind replaced with anything else.

Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

Maybe it's because Hogwarts is the backdrop for most of these books, but I always feel the need to pick them back up in fall when school starts. I reread all seven, and I usually end up finishing by the end of November.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series by Stieg Larsson

Dark is a great way to describe this series, and I still can't believe I made it through three books that are this gruesome in content. The story is addicting, and I read them all when the sun started setting super early and I was left up alone in the house nursing an infant Sam. Lisbeth kept me company while she kicked ass.

Child 44 series by Tom Rob Smith

I didn't now if I was going to enjoy this book because the death of children is not a super fun topic. However, Smith weaves an intriguing tale of murders in Russia that aren't being investigated because the government refuses to acknowledge that they are murders. When Leo decides to investigate, the full picture comes together, and this is one that will have you looking behind you checking for strangers while you turn the last pages.

The next two books in the series are just as riveting and should keep you busy for a bit.

FYI-Do NOT see the movie. All the great acting couldn't make up for a crappy script.


Ariel by Sylvia Plath

I feel like fall is a great time to commit to reading poetry. As an artist friend of mine said, you can't rush poetry. You need to see every word, sometimes read it out loud, let it all settle. A quiet house with a cup of tea when the sun has fallen early is a great backdrop for this slow, measured exercise.

I love Plath's work and I always come back to her. Ariel is probably her most popular collection of poetry, and poems like "Poppies in October" and "Letter in November" make it a particularly appropriate collection for this time of year.



Saturday, November 3, 2018

Persevering in October: Feelings, Outdoors, and Decor

October is quite possibly my favorite month, so I always feel like it goes by too quickly. Besides celebrating D's birthday and hurting my back working on a puzzle (not kidding), I did a few other things.

No Secondary Emotions

I had a Meniere's episode in the middle of October. While I am used to feeling unsteady on occasion, I don't deal with episodes that slam me to the ground for hours as often anymore. I did on the 13th, and besides being extremely dizzy, I lost about 75 percent of my hearing for eight hours.

It was horrifying in the way these things always are. I know I'm vulnerable at all times because that's how Meniere's works, but being reminded of how helpless it makes me is jarring. However, I tried something different this time; I didn't allow secondary emotions to participate.

When I have an episode, I already feel physically awful, and then my mind can really get away from me. I'm stuck in bed, unable to even sit up, and I have a lot of time to think about where these episodes can lead. When I had one a couple of months ago that wasn't even as bad as this one, I spent hours ruminating about the possibility of not being able to help my children now or when they are older. What if they move away and I can't even get on a plane to visit? What if they need my help but I'm down for weeks at a time? I let this go pretty far last time and ended up even more miserable than I started.

In October I simply shut down these thoughts the minute they started. I acknowledged that I don't know what the future holds, but I have to deal with where I am right now. I rested. D took the kids to the movies. I didn't think about not being able to hear or when my hearing would fully return. I just let myself be.

It wasn't a fun day, but it was relaxing to just let my body do what it needed to do without worrying about what came next. By that night, I was walking around the block trying to regain some equilibrium, tired but proud.

Meditation and mindfulness get credit for my approach in October. Just catching those thoughts before they had a chance to own me and intentionally showing myself compassion made a big difference.


The Great Outdoors






We were outside a lot in October. The weather finally started to turn pleasant, and even during the weeks when it rained for days, we got outside if it wasn't lightning.

I read both The Nature Fix and There's No Such Thing as Bad Weather earlier this year, and they had a profound effect on the way I view my need for nature. I need it, my kids need it, and we will seek it every season, regardless of the weather.

Hygge the Home

We've lived in our house for ten years, and we've added a lot of children to it. As far as really designing and decorating, not so much. However, I've been working on that lately, and it's been both fun and satisfying. My style tends to be minimalist and functional, with comfort as a priority.

This month, I hung some white boards and scored an awesome table for free. A neighbor put it on the curb, and my dumb ass decided to surprise Dennis. I pulled over in the minivan, sure I could lift the thing on my own. I could not. I don't know why I thought I was such a bad ass, but after successfully maneuvering it into the middle of the road on my own, D and the kids had to walk down the block to help me. This conversation followed when Dennis saw me sprawled on top of a table, claiming it with my body and protecting it from oncoming traffic.

Me: "I can run a mile now, so I really thought I had this."

D: "Um, how does that mean you can lift a table that weighs more than you do?"

Me: "I'm strong? Wait, uh, I didn't think this through, did I?"

D: "Can you even lift your side?"

Me: "Sure? Maybe? Wow, I got way too confident running that mile."

D: "Nice table, though."

She really is a beauty, right?