Simplicity: The Parenting Edition

When you have a large family and one person falls ill, you just wait for everyone to crash like dominoes until the germs run through the entirety of the house.  That occurred, but it took nine days.

It sounds crazy, but cancelling every play date and avoiding public places so we wouldn't share our germs actually turned into a great time to focus on simplicity in parenting.  It led to realizing that being around my kids near constantly ensures everything in quantity but nothing in quality if I don't work at it. 

Here are some simple lessons I learned during our stomach virus time:

Big kids always need to be rocked.  They will reveal everything in the world to you in a recliner with your arms around them.

Listening is hard but amazing.  I now know more about the video games Sam enjoys than I ever wanted to, but being receptive to hearing about his obsessive interest made him talk about deeper questions he had, something that isn't always easy for him.

A few kind words are everything, even if it's just telling one of the three year olds, "Thanks for at least aiming for the toilet that time. I'm proud of you."

We love our play dates, our friendships, our familiar routine, but slow is not a bad pace for us, even when everyone is well.  I have to remind myself constantly that that's okay, it's actually what D and I work for.  We want meaningful, not just a full schedule.  We want intentional, not busy.  Sickness is always the reset button that helps me assess whether we are living out our values or just going through the motions, trudging through the day.  The latter is not my definition of simplicity.

We make time for what's important, and important to me always equals deeper intimacy and communication, even though I am a lover of checking items off the to-do list.  It's about balance, but I'm going to swing in favor of less with more depth than more but shallow every time.

February Book List

I read some very rich books this month.  The memoirs I devoured were two of my favorite memoirs ever, and reading my first book by Maggie O'Farrell was an indescribable pleasure. 

Fiction

This Must be the Place by Maggie O'Farrell:  Adrift from his children in the states, Daniel has a new family in Ireland but is called back to America for an emergency.  When it's time for making his way back to Ireland and back to his ex-movie star wife who fled her celebrity life years before, the journey proves difficult as Daniel grapples with memories and mistakes from his past that have the potential to sink his future.

There aren't words to describe how affected I was by this book.  I still think about it daily, and O'Farrell caused me to care about each of these character's fates to a point where I feel like they are actually real people walking around somewhere in the world.  Not overly sentimental but still heartbreaking at times, this book still manages to be funny.  I plan on reading more of O'Farrell's books because This Must be the Place made me a forever fan.

We Love You, Charlie Freeman by Kaitlyn Greenidge:  The Freemans move to the Toneybee Institute to teach Charlie, a chimp, how to use sign language.  They are immersed in this experiment, a black family in the early 1990s, and are supposed to treat Charlie like a member of the family.  However, the Toneybee Institute has a questionable past, and when that is brought to light through flashbacks and discovery, the entire situation starts coming apart at the seams.

Greenidge does a wonderful job of creating a story that encompasses large themes, mainly race, while also making the core of the book about family, betrayal, and what happens when we don't know how to use the languages we know to properly communicate the truth to each other. 

We Are Unprepared by Meg Little Riley:  I wasn't overly crazy about the writing in this one, probably because I read it during a month when I was drowning in elegant, precise words.  However, I enjoyed the story of a couple who move from their lives in New York to live more organically in Vermont.  Their plans go awry when a super storm is predicted to change the landscape of the planet for good.

Riley did a good job of showing how people break into factions and fear is just as dangerous as anything Mother Nature can unleash.  She also presents a scary view of the possibilities if the climate continues to change and all the predicted destruction occurs.

Memoir

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi:  Paul Kalanithi planned his career as a neurosurgeon and neuroscientist meticulously before being interrupted by cancer at the age of 36.  Suddenly unaware of how long he had left to live, Kalanithi had a chance to further analyze a question that had haunted him all of his life:  what do we live for, and what makes it worthwhile?

This book is beautiful, almost poetic, but it isn't overly sentimental.  Kalanithi shares his experience of going from a doctor to a patient and from having his whole life planned out to not knowing if he would be alive months down the road.  The wisdom he gleaned from the experience is valuable to us and will be part of Kalanithi's legacy now that he's gone.

I'm Supposed to Protect You From All This by Nadja Spiegelman:  Spiegelman is the daughter of Art  Spiegelman, the award-winning author of Maus, a graphic novel about his parents time in a concentration camp during the Holocaust.  His daughter, Nadja, is talented in her own right, and her debut book broke my heart and made me reflect on the complicated relationships we often have with the women in our families.

Spiegelman interviewed her mother Francoise Mouly, a famous editor and publisher who has worked for The New Yorker, about her life, and what she found helped shape their relationship and also led her back to her grandmother, who told sometimes contradictory stories to those that Francoise shared.

This entire narrative unfolds beautifully under the careful hands of the author, and it makes the reader wonder about memories, perceptions, and the lies we tell ourselves to continue to connect with others.

A Little More About Those Pops

Update:  A day after I posted this piece, I heard from the culinary development representative again.  Her news is good for the Dallas/Fort Worth area.  The DFW Steel City Pop locations use chocolate from Unrefined Bakery, a 100% gluten-free establishment that is owned by a mother/daughter team who have Celiac.  However, locations in Houston, Alabama, and Kentucky are still at risk due to the use of Ghirardelli cocoa powder in some of their products.  
 
I posted a statement to Facebook yesterday about my disappointment in Steel City Pops because of their refusal to deal with ingredients that might contain gluten while still advertising their food as gluten-free.  I stand by my concern, but I wanted to add a bit to that since hearing from their culinary development representative this morning. Here's the breakdown:

Their representative from Ghirardelli is giving them a completely different story than the person I was in contact with.  Here's the statement I received from Ghirardelli about an ingredient Steel City Pops uses:

At this time our products are not certified as being gluten free, the FDA requires products to be tested to confirm that gluten level is below 20ppm. Currently Ghirardelli products are not tested to this requirement and therefore we cannot make any gluten free claims for our products, production lines or manufacturing facilities. If a Ghirardelli product contains gluten it will be noted in the ingredients. 

What this means is that Gharardelli does not require that their products meet the lowest possible standard for a gluten-free designation.  Thankfully, after years of being considered an enemy to the Celiac community due to their lack of transparency, they are finally giving a straight answer and saying they just aren't taking the extra step to guarantee anything.  I can at least respect the honesty. 

However, Steel City Pops' Ghirardelli representative tells a different story and says the company is on the verge of being certified gluten-free, they just don't want to pay for the designation.  Given the company's past and my exchange with a Ghirardelli rep. yesterday, I don't believe it.  

Steel City Pops is looking to change to a company who provides certified gluten-free, organic cocoa powder, but they haven't yet and I don't know when they will.  For us, that means this dessert destination is out.

All this to say I can't recommend this place to those with severe gluten-intolerance or Celiac, but I do commend the company for taking my concerns seriously and sending my emails up the chain of command until I was able to have an exchange with someone who seemed to moderately understand why I was concerned.  That is something, and I will take it.  

I also want to warn the Celiac community that I believe issues like this are going to become more prevalent for a couple of reasons:  number one, we're trending.  To eat gluten-free now is to be the cool kid at the lunch table, but that means many restaurants and manufacturers are cashing in as opposed to actually checking out how to help those who actually need this diet to live.  

Number two, governmental standards are going down the tube.  This is not completely new since the last administration seemed to owe a large portion of their souls to Monsanto, but I fear in this current climate where making money is the primary consideration for those in office, things are going to get very hard for those of us who need to verify ingredients in food or medication.  

To survive, research and question more than ever.  Eat at home when you can.  Eat whole foods that are less in question.  Eat certified GF.  Be careful. 

What Simple Looked Like in January

The beginning of this year was a challenge to the simple mantra, I'm not going to lie.  I've spent much of the last several months feeling displaced in many areas of life, such as politically, spiritually, and in a sense in community because I like being a hermit and want to run at signs of conflict, and I don't know if you've popped your head outside the door or logged onto a social media account lately, but conflict abounds.  Plus, I am an anomaly whose views do not fit in any one group, a mutt of sorts, so I've watched people take up pitch forks and just waited to see which direction they were going to hit me from. 

This is how I walked into my year of simple.

What I have tried to do this month is to boil life down to what I want to accomplish and how I get there cutting out all of the BS along the way.  Try this if you want a sure fire way to see how full your life is of BS.

Here's what has helped me make my way back to the simple this month:

Uno: Yep, the kids' card game has done wonders for simple in this house.  Everyone feeling cranky and stressed?  Uno.  Everyone leaning too much on junk food and technology?  Uno.  Too cold to go outside without your six year-old suffering frost bit because he won't wear pants? Uno.

Kodaline's Album, In a Perfect World:  Music centers me, and one of the things that scares me most about losing my hearing is losing my memories.  They are tied up in song and the sounds of people laughing.

This album is beautiful and haunting and never fails to help me center and release tension.

Picnics:  These are not elaborate picnics with an actual basket and a trek to the woods.  We picnic in the backyard.  We picnic in the living room.  It's a great way to fellowship together that feels exotic because we don't do it every day.

Coffee:  Do I really need to explain this?

Story Time:  I recommend the following books for stellar story time: The Day the Crayons Quit, The Day the Crayons Came Home, Naked (it's a children's book, I promise), and Leo, the Terrible Monster.  They reset us every time.


Writing:  Writing is a great way for me to avoid therapy.

Actions Over Words: I am opting for actions over words, which isn't to say I won't use words, but they will be in putting out there what I think is important and not arguing with people who don't agree. I'm not going to try to convince other people, but I am going to protest.  My kids already know how to call their representatives, so I'm teaching action as well as practicing it.

Prayer:  If I love someone, I pray for them.  If I don't, I begrudgingly throw their name out there and let God deal with me.  It works either way, and it never fails to calm me and give me purpose.

Simple is not easy, but I think it's going to be worth it. 

January 2017 Book List

Memoir
Sex Object by Jessica Valenti:  I cannot say this book was enjoyable, but I still appreciated Valenti's story and the reason she felt it necessary to share.  In a world where people criticized Valenti for the title of her book, proclaiming she wasn't attractive enough to be a sex object, we need to remember that being called an object isn't a compliment.  That was Valenti's point.

The current climate of boys will be boys makes Valenti's story of leaving college due to harassment about her sex life even  more important.  The boy who targeted her after their break up, of course, was not vilified for the sex they had.

This book is not one of hope.  Sharing decades worth of family trauma as it relates to women being treated like objects, Valenti doesn't hold back.

Fiction
News of the World by Paulette Jiles:  News of the World landed at number one on the Book Pages list for this year, so I had to read it.  I don't miss their numbers ones, and I've never been disappointed.

News of the World was no exception.  Taking place in Texas in the 1800s, this book follows Captain Kidd as he takes news from one Texas town to another, reading from the papers to the people about all that is going on in the great, big world.  When he is tasked with returning a young girl, Johanna, who was taken by Kiowa raiders four years early, to her home in San Antonio, he has to avoid the law, the Kiowa's who want her back, and other malicious people who don't have Johanna's best interest at heart.

This book is tender and hopeful, though at certain points I wanted to hide for fear of what was going to happen to these two unforgettable characters.  I would have never grabbed this one on my own, but I'm glad it was on the list because I can't imagine not knowing this beautiful story.

Tomorrow Will Be Different by Maria Semple:  This was on my Book Page List for the year, and it was very enjoyable.  The protagonist daily makes a list of how her day is going to be different, better, more grown up, and she regularly fails to meet her own goals.  As the story unfolds, we are permitted flashbacks that allow us to see her in a different light.

Semple's writing is hilarious and real, and she doesn't spare her protagonists close examination of their own faults that created the mess they are living in.  The characters are memorable and the story relevant.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple:  I will read a great  book by an author and then vow to read more of their work, but then I don't.  I decided to break that pattern by following up Today Will Be Different with Semple's previous New York Times bestseller, and I was not disappointed.  In fact, I like Where'd You Go, Bernadette even better.

Told through emails, memos, and narrative, we learn about Bernadette, a former architect who is now just trying to avoid people while living in Seattle with her husband and daughter.  The moms at her daughter's private school, or the gnats as she calls them, make it hard, and just like in Today Will Be Different, we learn more about the past that led Bernadette to where she is through flashbacks.  When Bernadette disappears, the past becomes extremely important for tracking her down.

This book is hilarious and delightful.

Imagine Me Gone by Adam Haslett:   The reader is warned from the beginning that this is not going to be a carefree, upbeat ride.  From the opening pages of this story, which is told by alternating narrators, we know that tragedy will occur in some way.  The story then takes us back to how this family started and to how they landed where they are.

Margaret decides, even after her fiance suffers from a depression so deep he has to be hospitalized, to marry him and have a family.  Their three children then carry on the story of their generation, with troubled oldest child Michael at the center of everyone's concern.

The writing is flawless, the story heartbreaking but honest and at times humorous. Haslett knows families, and my breath was stolen away when, using Margaret's voice, he described being a mother as hearing and feeling but not often actually seeing our children, a truth most any mother can attest to.  This one is worth the read and the heartbreak.

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood:  I maybe picked the wrong time in life to read Atwood's book about a dystopian environment where women are basically used for parts by a government masquerading as a religious entity, or maybe it was the perfect time.  Either way, this book that was written decades ago gave me the creeps and kept me hooked until the last page.

Offred is a handmaid who is assigned to a commander and his wife to try to conceive a child for them.  She has a limited amount of chances before she is deemed worthless, and the clock is ticking.  As Offred remembers her life before this world emerged, she also learns of a resistance growing in the heart of Gilead.

I may be one of the last to pick this one up, but if anyone else hasn't read it, grab it now.  It's disturbing but wonderful.

Transit by Rachel Cusk:  This book is a sequel of sorts to Outline, a beautiful piece of literature that I read and loved.  The narrator continues giving us snippets of her life in transition as she moves back to London with her young sons after a divorce.

This novel is not what most people expect when they think of telling a story.  Certain details are left completely out, and the story is more a series of very deep conversations that cut to the bone of meaning than a strict, detailed narrative.  Cusk's writing is breathtaking, and I want to sit at a table with people and dive to the heart of conversations the way her characters do. 

Non-Fiction
Jesus Without Borders by Chad Gibbs:  I want to see more of Gibb's hilarious, relevant writing on Christianity in the world because he is spot-on without being preachy, serious and yet hopeful.

Gibbs grew up in Alabama and decided he wanted to see what Christianity looked like in other countries around the world.  With an advance from Zondervan and travel hacking tricks, he went to 12 different countries, worshiped with other believers, and asked what they thought about American Christianity.  The answers and experiences were eye opening for Gibbs and for me as a reader.

As our country delves further into a dangerous trend towards nationalism and forgets that we do not have a monopoly on Christianity or what it looks like in real life, Gibb's book comes along and shows what following Jesus looks like in other cultures.  It should make us question our Christianity wrapped up in an American flag and our allegiance to politics over the actual words of God.

Top Book Picks from 2016

Okay, I had to choose 14 books, which I think is fair.  I read 70, and with the exception of a handful, I’d recommend them all.  That’s why putting this list together was so hard and why I separated fiction and non-fiction to add a few more.

Check out the Books Tab above if you want to see all of the reading lists for this year.  If you’re just looking for my top picks, here they are.

Fiction 

Everyone Brave is Forgiven by Chris Cleave

I’ve wondered for years if there was ever going to be an end to books about WWII.  I think the answer is no, and maybe there shouldn’t be.  Chris Cleave proves they can still be done well, introducing characters and situations that teach us new information about everything we thought we already knew.  Cleave’s book about the blitz on London during the war uses the conflict as a backdrop for personal stories about the people trapped in this dire situation.  The book also travels to battles in Malta, a place I did not even know was affected by WWII.

Everyone Brave is Forgiven is about war, yes, but it’s also about friendship, love, racial inequality, and the everyday lives of people living in extraordinarily dark times.  The dialogue is witty and at times hilarious, and the losses these characters experience hit the reader like a direct punch to the heart.  I still think about this book regularly, and it will likely go into my rotation of books I reread periodically.

Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of a Fist by Sunil Yapa

During the 1999 World Trade Center Organization protests in Seattle, a son makes his way home as a father tries to calm the protesting crowds before tragedy ensues.  I read this one in the early months of this year, so details are fuzzy, but I walked away struck by the complex issues that Yapa dealt with in a beautiful, almost lyrical way.  Relevant for today, this is a solid book.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

I just wrote about this book on the December book list, so click here to check out the description.  Since I read it recently, I don’t have distance to add to my perspective.  It is just such a beautiful book.

All is Not Forgotten by Wendy Walker

I debated about putting this one on the list.  It’s dark, at times difficult to read because the content matter is so disturbing.  However, it’s superbly written and I keep thinking about and all the implications of the story.

When a young girl is raped, her parents choose to give her a drug to erase the details of what happened.  This creates more problems than it solves, and when the teen wants her memory back, she starts seeing a doctor to use talk therapy to help.  The outcome is not what any reader will ever be able to imagine.  

This book is fast-paced and addictive, dark and psychologically ominous.  It won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but it will leave readers thinking.

The Unseen World by Liz Moore

Ada is raised by her brilliant father and becomes a prodigy herself.  In the world of computer science in the 1980s, David and his lab are working to create something, but when David starts to lose his memory, Ada finds out her father isn’t the man she’s always believed him to be.

When I think of this book, the word tender comes to mind. It’s a beautiful love story between father and child, and the characters are rich and jump off the page.  This was one I was sad to close the last page on, and I know I’ll read it again.

Version Control by Dexter Palmer

Version Control takes on time travel, family, science, relationships, and race and manages to do it all in a highly understandable way that had me screaming out loud as I read.(Other people do that, right?  Like, you read something and then go “WHAT?!?  That did not just happen.  Oh my gosh, it makes so much sense, of course it had to happen!”  Tell me I’m normal.)

I read this at the beginning of the year so I remember certain details and not others, but the story is perfection, the dialogue real, and the scientific element highlights human relationships and struggles.  A marriage hangs in the balance, tragedy strikes, then an incredible cast of characters draws you in until the final page.  

The Last Painting of Sara de Vos by Dominic Smith

At the time that I read this book, I enjoyed it because the writing is beautiful and the story offers present-day action and well-placed flashbacks.  I did not know that the pivotal scene would haunt me for months.  

When Ellie forges a painting, she has no idea that the man it was stolen from will enter her life, and not by accident.  This game of manipulation keeps the reader wondering how in the world this can end, but I never guessed how it would.  The climax doesn’t feel contrived.  Instead it makes the reader think about humanity and what we are capable of when we feel robbed.

A Doubter’s Almanac by Ethan Canin

I always find it strange that I am so drawn to books about characters who work in math and science.  Maybe it is because I have absolutely no skill in these areas that I’m fascinated when I receive a look into the mind of someone who does.  

A Doubter’s Almanac follows Milo as he ascends to fame after his unique mind earns him honors in his field.  Spanning decades, A Doubter’s Almanac shows the darker side of genius and what it can cost to have a mind that is so centrally focused coupled with ambition.  It explores family relationships and wounded pride, and the writing was so good that I didn’t mind reading about math that I will absolutely never in my life understand. 

Dietland by Sarai Walker

I get overwhelmed when thinking about this book, and I think about it often.  Now even more than when I read it I feel this book should be required reading for the betterment of humanity.  Walker focuses on our society’s obsession with appearance and what it does to women and our culture.  The book offers characters who try to fix the system peacefully and those who try to blow up the whole damn rape culture, almost literally.  There’s no way to read this and walk away without feeling a little out of breath, committed to being responsible to what we feed our girls about what it means to be a woman and what we teach our boys about what it means to interact with women.  

Non-Fiction 

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

I am a firm believer that books offer passageways to the minds of others and can help unite us when our tendency is to live divided.  Ta-Nehisi Coates' Between the World and Me proves this, and I devoured this one twice this year and will probably read it again every year until I die.

Coates writes this book as a letter to his son.  He tells him what he needs to know growing up black, and he traces his own journey to the person he is now.  Coates offers truth without being preachy and wisdom and perspective that can benefit any reader who wants a deeper look at why, yes, our country still has a major problem with race relations.  

The first time I read this book I was a part of a group that discussed it online.  It was mainly Christians(though Coates is not a believer, that was just my book group) from all races and walks of life, and it was eye opening to see the long-lasting effects of racism, especially when many Southern churches supported it or turned a blind eye.  Reading Coates’ book made me hope and pray that in this day and time, we can remember that what we don’t speak up against becomes what we’re known for approving, and that we will rise up against injustice no matter where it comes from.  

The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron, and Suzanne Stabile

I hadn’t heard of the Enneagram before reading this book, and as a friend wisely paraphrased, reading this book was knowing you were going to do something very uncomfortable but doing it anyway.  Why?  Because whichever number you find yourself most identifying with on the Enneagram, it’s going to be rough to recognize yourself in the ugly parts.  Yes, you get to find out the good as well, but for true growth, you need to know the bad, and the authors offer that for all.

I am going to read up more on the Enneagram(I’m a 2 and that pretty much explains everything), but this book was so good I’m actually hesitant to seek out anything else.  

Brain on Fire by Susannah Cahalan

I picked this book up because I thought I was losing my mind.  Sometimes due to Meniere’s disease, I still think I am, but that is beside the point.  Brain on Fire tells the story of a young journalist with a promising career who suddenly starts suffering with symptoms that can’t be properly diagnosed.  Too mentally ill to function, Cahalan is hospitalized and loses months of her life to a rare auto-immune disease that attacked her brain.

She used her skills as a journalist to write this book and to try to trace her own journey through these missing months.  The book is well written and concerning, showing how chance plays a huge role in if we are properly diagnosed and treated.  It’s also a fascinating, if horrifying, portrait of what happens when our body finds a way to turn our mind against us.

Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist

Niequist is one of my favorite writers, and her books seem to always find me when I need them most.  In Present Over Perfect, she talks about letting go of perfection and being where we are.  This book explains a lot of what I’m focusing on this year with my 2017 word, simple.  Do the simple thing, not the easy thing.  They are often not the same.  It’s not simple to be present in a world of easy distractions, but it’s the life worth living.

Patient H.M. by Luke Dittrich

The true story the movie Memento was based off of, Patient H.M.  takes readers inside the world of brain surgery and brain injury over the last several decades.  Warning: it’s horrifying.  The author is the grandson of a renowned brain surgeon, but he has no issues pulling the veil up to reveal a world of misguided doctors and scientists using patients like guinea pigs and causing damage that permanently affected lives.  The book is about both science and family, and I couldn’t put it down. 

December Book List

I'm wrapping up a really good year of reading with these five books.  I hope to finish The Fortunes by Peter Ho Davies and Sex Object by Jessica Valenti by New Year's day, but I will report back on them in 2017.

Non-Fiction

You Can’t Touch My Hair and Other Things I Still Have to Explain by Phoebe Robinson

 I knew nothing about Phoebe Robinson before picking up You Can’t Touch My Hair and Other Things I Still Have to Explain, but now I plan on listening to her podcast and stalking her on Twitter.   Robinson is a comedian who had me laughing on almost every page even as she dealt with difficult topics like racism and sexism.  The title of the book leads to a chapter on the idea of “good hair” and how black women are often raised to believe they must look a certain way to receive a positive response.  It’s heartbreaking, honest, and somehow Robinson still laces the stories with humor and hope.

Scrappy Little Nobody by Anna Kendrick

I’ve only seen Anna Kendrick in the movies 50/50, Pitch Perfect, and Twilight, but hearing her voice over and over again on the Trolls soundtrack (thanks, kids!) made me want to grab this book.  It was a quick read with insights about working on the stage and in Hollywood.  Kendrick shares her personal journey using wit and humor, and she is a talented writer.  After reading it, I’m hoping to watch Up in the Air and The Last Five Years soon.

Fiction

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by J.K. Rowling, Jack Thorne, and John Tiffany

 

I may be the last person on earth to read this, but I finally got around to devouring the play that takes place 19 years after Harry leaves Hogwarts.  All is not well in Potter’s world, and this story is as much about family as it is about evil forces that threaten to tear the world in two.  Harry Potter fans should read this one, and people who aren’t Harry Potter fans, well, I’m not sure how to talk to you.  Go read Harry Potter!  

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

This book knocked me off my feet as I laughed and cried my way through the feel-good book of the year about an old, cranky man determined to alienate himself from everyone he meets.  Ove is annoyed with humanity in general, but new neighbors change his path, and he’s suddenly in the middle of a life with meaning and people surrounding him, whether he likes it or not.  Ove’s full story unfolds in beautiful flashbacks, and don’t forget to read the chapter titles because they are absolute gems.  This one is on the top 10 list of books I read this year.

The Girls by Emma Cline

To be clear, if this book had not been on the BookPage's Top 50 List, I would have never picked it up.  A fictional account based on the Manson murders, it’s disturbing in a way that I don’t enjoy.  However, the writing was amazing, and Cline does such a precise job of unearthing how sad girls end up falling in with people to feel like they have a home that I couldn’t turn away.  Her observations, such as that girls don’t know who they are because they are pretending to be what boys want while the boys actually just get to grow into their own men, are simple yet profound, and that makes the book worth reading if you can stomach it.