Sunday, July 18, 2010

Poop Diving and other things to do during a power outage

We lost power tonight due to something big breaking, I don’t know what, but the whole neighborhood was out. In honor of this occurrence, I want to share a few fun ideas for activities you can participate in if this ever happens to you.

Play how do I get in my house

We pulled into our driveway and I pressed the button on our garage door opener, but the garage door didn’t open. After trying several more times, we tried Dennis’. Nothing. Dennis thought there might be a power outage, so we went through our back door which was only made possible because we had Dennis’ keys, not mine. I misplaced my back door key after a long argument I had with it one day for getting stuck in the key hole. I removed it from my key ring as punishment and then it ran away.

Try to find things to eat that don’t require heat

We came home for the purpose of eating, but with no stove, microwave, oven, and the things in our fridge getting ready to ruin, there wasn’t much appealing going on in the food department. I settled on cereal, Wren had granola, and Dennis is still holding out.

Inadvertently teach your child the word “nipples”
Still not sure how this one happened. Wren has always called girl parts milk because of breastfeeding, but tonight she grabbed her milk makers and started pinching them. When Dennis told her to stop pinching her nipples, she then pinched them harder but screamed nipples while doing it. Who needs TV, radio, or internet when you have this to watch?

Go look for your purse only to realize you didn’t lose it
I hid my purse when we went into a store and then left it in the car when we realized the power was out. I decided to go back out to the car to get it, which means I went from one horrible, hot situation to another one outside. I could not find my purse, so I tromped back inside and searched the house before sadly deciding it was lost. One more trip to the baking car revealed that I hid it well, but it was still there. After this, I was actually hotter than before which I did not believe was possible, and I was suffering from butt sweat.

Poop Dive

Oh, a favorite and a first for us! We decided to let Wren play in the tub because it was cool and she loves water. After five minutes of Dennis supervising Wren’s bath playtime, I heard him scream for me. I then heard him say to Wren, “you didn’t do anything wrong, it’s okay.” I had guessed by that point, but confirmation was available in four poop logs floating peacefully in our tub. Wren watched them from outside the tub as Dennis and I tried to decide how to get them out. Dennis claimed it happened so fast, that she said diaper-her code for I’m about to poop-and before he could get her out, she assumed the hands and knees position and started launching. I told him it happened on his watch so was technically his clean up responsibility. He retrieved the poop shovel we took on our Oregon hikes, which prior to tonight never actually touched poop. His first attempts only split the logs into smaller pieces. I offered to take a shot but played the pregnancy card when I realized how nasty those things were up close. I even threatened to throw up. He retrieved them all, we disinfected the bath tub, and we’re hoping to play this game again…oh…never.

Get naked and show your neighbors

I’m pregnant. It was 86 degrees in my house. And really, I don’t need an excuse to run around completely naked at 20 weeks pregnant in my own house. All the same, I may have created quite a situation for the neighbors to discuss at our National Night Out block party in a couple of weeks. I was walking in the living room in all my naked glory when I started to wonder why our kitchen nook, where Dennis was trying to work on homework, was so bright. I quickly realized it was because he had opened the blinds to get some light, and our neighbors’ window is right outside our window that was providing that light. Hopefully, they didn’t see anything in the short time it took me to get a blanket around me. I guess I’ll find out if I get stranger than usual looks at the block party.

Visit the neighbors you haven’t streaked in front of and show them your underwear

All the neighbors started convening outside to watch the men try to fix whatever was broken that caused the outage. I was holding Wren and had neglected to button my shorts because it was hot and I’m a little big for those shorts now. My neighbor politely informed me that Wren’s leg had hiked my shirt up and she could now see all my business, which thank God just ended up being my panties because I was wearing underwear. At first I was embarrassed, but then I remembered that this woman answered her door naked one time when I came over, so I figured we had both shared our business, and I didn’t do it on purpose.

All of these activities are memorable, free, and will give you tons to talk about with friends! Try them today, and pass this on to anybody who might ever be without power and find themselves bored. I’m so happy to have provided this entry all about free, wholesome family entertainment.

1 comment:

  1. LOL! This post made me laugh so hard! You are awfully lucky Dennis was around to go fishing for poop. Kate has done it 3 or 4 times (thankfully not in a while!) and I had to clean them all up. The only method I could think of at the time was by hand. Yeah, that was nasty.