I knocked out seven books this month, and I also flirted with a few others. There are some seriously amazing authors in the world, and I already have November's reading planned!
Memoirs or Something Like It
Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton: Melton revealed right before Love Warrior's publication that she and her husband were divorcing, but that doesn't lessen the impact of some of the lessons she learned. Starting when she was a child and leading to her marriage, where her entire life is changed when she discovers her husband's unfaithfulness, Melton holds nothing back and gives details that are heartbreaking. She doesn't spare herself and is open about past mistakes. Love Warrior is a fast read, and though you may not agree with all of Melton's conclusions, it's full of gems that make it worth the read.
Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist: This is mandatory reading for every person on the planet. Though I'm not living the jet setting life speaking at big events like Niequistm, I still connected to her message to slow down, stop being so to-do list oriented, and live in the present. Don't spend every second trying to make things perfect; just be there.
Niequist's language is beautiful, and each chapter unfolds with wisdom. I reread so many paragraphs, and I will probably purchase this one. That says a lot about this book, because I am a minimalist library user through and through.
Textbook by Amy Krouse Rosenthal: Quiet frankly, this book was delightful. Rosenthal describes it as a kind of memoir, and the way she uses words and plays with language is unique and intriguing. Set up as a textbook, there are quizzes and short answer, and using this unique format, Rosenthal explores being a parent, our connection to other people, and the reality of being middle-aged(which many of us are if we do the math).
Fiction
The Dollhouse by Fiona Davis: After reading The Dollhouse, I am longing to reread the Bell Jar and poetry books I have of Sylvia Plath's. The reason is because the story is partially set in the 1950s hotel that Plath lived in and fictionalized in The Bell Jar. In this fictionalized account, a young, innocent girl comes to the big city to train to be a secretary, but she doesn't fit in with the models whose floor she accidentally ends up on. She begins running with a maid from the hotel, and this leads her to adventure, secrets, and tragedy. The book is well-written and deals with everything from jazz to heroin to women's limited choices just decades ago. There's also a decades old mystery to be solved, and the modern day narrator sets out to do that so she can have a story of her own.
Here I Am by Jonathan Safran Foer: An author has to be amazing to attempt something this epic, and Foer is. This is the first book I've read by him, and I was not disappointed. He looks at family, religion, and what it means to be a part of something bigger than yourself while also existing alone.
Jacob's marriage is struggling and his elderly grandfather is about to be moved to a Jewish nursing home. When an earthquake in the Middle East occurs, personal and national problems come to the surface. There's no way to explain this book. You'll either be hooked like I was or not, but I can't imagine the skill it took Foer to produce something this all encompassing.
The Light Between Oceans by M.L Stedman: I avoided reading this one for years because I didn't think I could handle it. When a baby washes up in a boat on an island near Australia, Isabel wants to keep it and convinces her husband, Tom, it was fate. They are the lone lighthouse keepers on this island in the 1920s, and she and Tom have suffered losses, so they raise the child as their own. However, the baby has a mother back in Australia, and that truth changes everything.
I bawled at the end of this book and I bawled trying to describe it to D. However, it's ultimately a book about love and hope and sacrifice.
Historical Fiction
Lady Cop Makes Trouble by Amy Stewart: This is the sequel to Girl Waits with Gun, the series about Constance Kopp, one of the first female deputies in the U.S. When she has to catch a criminal who escaped under her care, Kopp goes to any lenghts to get the job done. The story is fast paced, and Constance's sisters, Fluerette and Norma are back, as well as other characters from the first book.
Books and Cookbooks I'm in the Process of Reading
Celebrations by Danielle Walker
Deliciously Ella by Ella Woodward
Messy Spirituality by Mike and Karla Yaconelli
Let Me Tell You by Shirley Jackson
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Friday, September 30, 2016
Guess What? I'm Dilating!
Just kidding, I'm not. This post was written last night when I thought I was dilating because that is what people with normal, compliant cervixes do when bullied by loads of Cytotec. Not my cervix! It's a fighter.
This morning after a biopsy where the doctor had to do some extra maneuvering due to my undilated cervix (read: hurt me really bad because my cervix wants me to die), we confirmed what I suspected years ago: my cervix does not dilate. Like, really does not dilate. Apparently it doesn't view that as part of its job function. My cervix is kind of a jerk. In all seriousness, the doctor actually thinks I may have some kind of issue that caused my cervix to stay closed through pregnancies and Cytotec.
But, I decided to let you read the musings I had last night when I was in a lot of pain and thought my cervix was dilating. The whole experience brought back a lot of weird feelings about my C-sections. That's right, I had to sit through loads of emotional turmoil while in physical pain only to find out my body, once again, didn't do what it was supposed to. Go home, cervix, nobody wants you.
From Last Night:
For real! As I write this my cervix, the cervix that was not dilated when I was 43 WEEKS PREGNANT with Sam, the cervix that despite 10 weeks of contractions with the twins didn't budge, that cervix is dilating thanks to some Cytotec.
But I'm not pregnant.
I have an upcoming procedure where the test that needs to take place requires a dilated cervix. When my doctor first told me this, I laughed. "My cervix?" I asked. "You want it to open?" He didn't laugh and then gave me a prescription for some drugs and told me the pain would be awful and see you later.
The pain really is pretty bad.
Here's the thing, though. In my bed with a heating pad and some time on my hands, I've become reflective. Having a dilating cervix AFTER I had all my kids by C-section really hurts emotionally. It feels personal. I didn't think anything about those surprise C-sections could still get me because I dealt with my big feelings of failure and loss after each one. But apparently it can. Sitting here having what feels like Braxton Hicks contractions is bringing back all of those feelings of excitement I had when I thought I'd be grunting out my little ones like planned. Instead I got cold surgery rooms, my uterus on the outside of my body, and puking from anesthetic.
I also got some great babies, so it's good.
I'm pretty sure my decision to pick up and write an article on C-sections for BabyGaga also helped bring some of this to the surface.
Here's what I've decided: some things we get over and never let go of all at the same time. In the throes of homeschooling two kids while trying to keep the younger two from maiming each other or continuosly sticking their fingers in their butts (that is actually a thing around here), I don't think a lot about the C-sections anymore. That doesn't mean I'm over them. I'm at peace with what happened and the decisions that had to be made, but I think I'm always going to have some complicated feelings surrounding my body just straight up punking out on birthing. I know, my body has done some other really awesome things and I love it and feed it Chipotle and Hail Mary tarts often. But in this one area, things still feel personal.
Here's what I'm glad about:
I'm glad I was educated and fought for the births I wanted, even if it didn't turn out the way I planned. I had more knowledge going in, and that benefitted me even though I had to have C-sections.
I'm glad I fought hard to VBAC with Sam. I didn't get to, but despite people telling me it was impossible and I should just forget about it, I pushed through until 43 weeks because I needed to know I tried to give him a less medicinal birth. I don't doubt that I did all I could, and that helps give me some peace.
I'm glad I have to explore these feelings anew every once in a while. It isn't fun, but it's a good reminder of how wonderful lessons and people can come out of unplanned situations.
So, there's that. If you haven't followed all my trying-to-evict-babies struggles, feel free to look through the blog. There's everything from the advice I got about drinking semen for induction to standing upside down on my head in a pool the day Wren was due.
No one in the world can say I didn't try.
This morning after a biopsy where the doctor had to do some extra maneuvering due to my undilated cervix (read: hurt me really bad because my cervix wants me to die), we confirmed what I suspected years ago: my cervix does not dilate. Like, really does not dilate. Apparently it doesn't view that as part of its job function. My cervix is kind of a jerk. In all seriousness, the doctor actually thinks I may have some kind of issue that caused my cervix to stay closed through pregnancies and Cytotec.
But, I decided to let you read the musings I had last night when I was in a lot of pain and thought my cervix was dilating. The whole experience brought back a lot of weird feelings about my C-sections. That's right, I had to sit through loads of emotional turmoil while in physical pain only to find out my body, once again, didn't do what it was supposed to. Go home, cervix, nobody wants you.
 |
| Want to know what my cervix is doing in this picture? Thinking, Man, I'm glad they did this C-section cause I wasn't gonna budge! |
From Last Night:
For real! As I write this my cervix, the cervix that was not dilated when I was 43 WEEKS PREGNANT with Sam, the cervix that despite 10 weeks of contractions with the twins didn't budge, that cervix is dilating thanks to some Cytotec.
But I'm not pregnant.
I have an upcoming procedure where the test that needs to take place requires a dilated cervix. When my doctor first told me this, I laughed. "My cervix?" I asked. "You want it to open?" He didn't laugh and then gave me a prescription for some drugs and told me the pain would be awful and see you later.
The pain really is pretty bad.
Here's the thing, though. In my bed with a heating pad and some time on my hands, I've become reflective. Having a dilating cervix AFTER I had all my kids by C-section really hurts emotionally. It feels personal. I didn't think anything about those surprise C-sections could still get me because I dealt with my big feelings of failure and loss after each one. But apparently it can. Sitting here having what feels like Braxton Hicks contractions is bringing back all of those feelings of excitement I had when I thought I'd be grunting out my little ones like planned. Instead I got cold surgery rooms, my uterus on the outside of my body, and puking from anesthetic.
I also got some great babies, so it's good.
I'm pretty sure my decision to pick up and write an article on C-sections for BabyGaga also helped bring some of this to the surface.
Here's what I've decided: some things we get over and never let go of all at the same time. In the throes of homeschooling two kids while trying to keep the younger two from maiming each other or continuosly sticking their fingers in their butts (that is actually a thing around here), I don't think a lot about the C-sections anymore. That doesn't mean I'm over them. I'm at peace with what happened and the decisions that had to be made, but I think I'm always going to have some complicated feelings surrounding my body just straight up punking out on birthing. I know, my body has done some other really awesome things and I love it and feed it Chipotle and Hail Mary tarts often. But in this one area, things still feel personal.
Here's what I'm glad about:
I'm glad I was educated and fought for the births I wanted, even if it didn't turn out the way I planned. I had more knowledge going in, and that benefitted me even though I had to have C-sections.
I'm glad I fought hard to VBAC with Sam. I didn't get to, but despite people telling me it was impossible and I should just forget about it, I pushed through until 43 weeks because I needed to know I tried to give him a less medicinal birth. I don't doubt that I did all I could, and that helps give me some peace.
I'm glad I have to explore these feelings anew every once in a while. It isn't fun, but it's a good reminder of how wonderful lessons and people can come out of unplanned situations.
So, there's that. If you haven't followed all my trying-to-evict-babies struggles, feel free to look through the blog. There's everything from the advice I got about drinking semen for induction to standing upside down on my head in a pool the day Wren was due.
No one in the world can say I didn't try.
Thursday, September 29, 2016
September Book List
It was a very good month for fiction! In fact, I only read one memoir, and the rest of the month I was wrapped in one invented world after another.
Memoir
Russian Tattoo by Elena Gorokhova: Gorokhova tells the story of how she moved from Russia to the U.S. in her twenties, leaving her mother and sister behind. Her story explores the relationships between mothers and daughters and the unfamiliar sensation of being an immigrant, always living in two places at once. She shares details about her life in Russia and tells what happened when her mother followed her to the states after her daughter was born. It was a great read, and I may pick up what I guess would be considered the prequel (do memoirs have prequels?) A Mountain of Crumbs.
Fiction
How I Became a North Korean by Krys Lee: The author introduces us to three characters, all who have at some point lived in North Korea (one only lived there in utero, I believe). Their lives intersect and the true nature of living in North Korea, as well as the unsure fate of those who escape the country, is revealed in words that are both hard to read and hopeful.
All is Not Forgotten by Wendy Walker: This was a mind trip if there ever was one. A teenager is raped during a party, but she is given a new medication to make her forget the details of what occurred. While she knows she was raped, not being able to connect the event with any viable memories leaves her disoriented and causes more problems than it solves.
Enter the narrator, a doctor who is trying to help her recover her memories so she can properly heal. His unveiling of the events reveals to the reader a fuller story than could have ever been imagined and will make the reader question the motives of every person they trust.
Truly Madly Guilty by Liane Moriarty: I have loved Liane Moriarty's writing for a long time. While What Alice Forgot will probably always be my favorite of hers, Truly Madly Guilty comes in a close second. This story, told from many different perspectives, deals with marriage, parenting, friendship, and hoarding all at once. Moriarty also does a beautiful job of showing us our prejudices, in this case how our expectations of mothers are so far beyond our expectations for fathers.
As usual, Moriarty has secrets up her sleeve until the final page, yet none of the storyline feels contrived. In fact, that may be both the best and hardest part of reading her work: it feels just like something that could happen to any of us.
The Nest by Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney : I almost felt guilty for caring so deeply about the four siblings in this book. Their upper class New York lives filled with problems of their own greedy making should repel readers from the first page. But they don't. Sweeney does such a good job of offering rich characters that The Nest was addictive all the way through.
When eldest brother Leo has a car accident, the money in the nest that is supposed to be split between him and his siblings is nearly drained to cover up his drug-fueled drive with a teenage girl. Since most of the siblings have spent beyond their means waiting for the money they were sure they'd eventually have, this event affects the dynamic of the family and causes serious reevaluations to take place for most everyone involved.
The Nutshell by Ian McEwan: McEwan introduces an unexpected narrator in his latest novel: an unborn child. We learn from the child that his mother is planning on killing his father after taking up with a new lover. The child's perspective and insight is both entertaining and heartbreaking as we wait to see how he will survive with such incompetent adults at the wheel. Will he survive?
McEwan's prose is always poetry in its own way, so prepare to be immersed in the language as well as the story.
Memoir
Russian Tattoo by Elena Gorokhova: Gorokhova tells the story of how she moved from Russia to the U.S. in her twenties, leaving her mother and sister behind. Her story explores the relationships between mothers and daughters and the unfamiliar sensation of being an immigrant, always living in two places at once. She shares details about her life in Russia and tells what happened when her mother followed her to the states after her daughter was born. It was a great read, and I may pick up what I guess would be considered the prequel (do memoirs have prequels?) A Mountain of Crumbs.
Fiction
How I Became a North Korean by Krys Lee: The author introduces us to three characters, all who have at some point lived in North Korea (one only lived there in utero, I believe). Their lives intersect and the true nature of living in North Korea, as well as the unsure fate of those who escape the country, is revealed in words that are both hard to read and hopeful.
All is Not Forgotten by Wendy Walker: This was a mind trip if there ever was one. A teenager is raped during a party, but she is given a new medication to make her forget the details of what occurred. While she knows she was raped, not being able to connect the event with any viable memories leaves her disoriented and causes more problems than it solves.
Enter the narrator, a doctor who is trying to help her recover her memories so she can properly heal. His unveiling of the events reveals to the reader a fuller story than could have ever been imagined and will make the reader question the motives of every person they trust.
Truly Madly Guilty by Liane Moriarty: I have loved Liane Moriarty's writing for a long time. While What Alice Forgot will probably always be my favorite of hers, Truly Madly Guilty comes in a close second. This story, told from many different perspectives, deals with marriage, parenting, friendship, and hoarding all at once. Moriarty also does a beautiful job of showing us our prejudices, in this case how our expectations of mothers are so far beyond our expectations for fathers.
As usual, Moriarty has secrets up her sleeve until the final page, yet none of the storyline feels contrived. In fact, that may be both the best and hardest part of reading her work: it feels just like something that could happen to any of us.
The Nest by Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney : I almost felt guilty for caring so deeply about the four siblings in this book. Their upper class New York lives filled with problems of their own greedy making should repel readers from the first page. But they don't. Sweeney does such a good job of offering rich characters that The Nest was addictive all the way through.
When eldest brother Leo has a car accident, the money in the nest that is supposed to be split between him and his siblings is nearly drained to cover up his drug-fueled drive with a teenage girl. Since most of the siblings have spent beyond their means waiting for the money they were sure they'd eventually have, this event affects the dynamic of the family and causes serious reevaluations to take place for most everyone involved.
The Nutshell by Ian McEwan: McEwan introduces an unexpected narrator in his latest novel: an unborn child. We learn from the child that his mother is planning on killing his father after taking up with a new lover. The child's perspective and insight is both entertaining and heartbreaking as we wait to see how he will survive with such incompetent adults at the wheel. Will he survive?
McEwan's prose is always poetry in its own way, so prepare to be immersed in the language as well as the story.
Thursday, September 1, 2016
What I Will Tell My Kids About Rape
Brock Turner will be released tomorrow after serving only three months in prison for raping a woman while she was unconscious. Because of this, bloggers have been encouraged to write for the "You Can Rape Me Because I'm Drunk" Challenge. It technically takes place tomorrow, but I am posting today because I'm not sure how technologically available I'll be tomorrow since we're spending the day away as a family.
I don't know where to start because the word rape brings up way too much for most of us to deal with. But what I think about the most is how to talk to my kids about this when they're older. How do you explain such depravity, such hateful behavior? And how do you explain the Brock Turners of the world somehow managing to play the victim card after violating a woman so thoroughly? I don't know, friends. I really don't know.
Here's what I do know: I'm going to talk to my kids about rape, and these are the four things I know for sure I will say.
Always Look Through Helper Eyes
If you can help someone who can't help themselves, do it. Be the young man or woman who helps a friend out of a threatening situation. Keep your eyes open for the evil doers waiting to harm women, and try to be the person who doesn't let it happen. Feel empowered enough to make a difference, because you can.
Know When to Have a Conversation and When Not To
There were many people who, after finding out about Brock Turner and his dad's appalling letter to the judge, wanted to focus in on drinking. Not Brock Turner's drinking, the drinking of the woman he raped. Before they wanted to talk about the injustice of rape, about the craziness behind that letter, about this victim's rights, they wanted to talk about her drinking.
While there is a time and a place for every conversation, this was neither. It was especially insulting to hear Turner and his father blame drinking for Brock's irresponsible behavior, and therefore make his excessive drinking the reason why he shouldn't be punished, when the victim was told because she drank she deserved what she got. Apparently Turner deserved nothing for either getting drunk or raping an unconscious woman. And basically, he got nothing for it.
Such a sexist message is not helping the conversation we need to have about rape.
Rape is Everywhere
Date rape. Gang rape. Women raped while they were drinking or raped while they were sober. Women raped by strangers and raped by someone they thought they loved. We haven't given these women a safe place to come forward. The question "What were you wearing?" should not be one a person has to answer when reporting a rape. Threatening college girls with penalties for their behavior when they come forward to report a rape should be outlawed. Asking a woman if she was "violently raped" should earn the questioner a class on the definition of rape.
It's happening to your mothers and sisters and daughters and friends, and most of them have been shamed into silence knowing the Brock Turners of the world will walk away unscathed while the victims live out their nightmare over and over again.
Don't Put Up With Bad Behavior
Strip clubs and porn, sexist jokes and catcalling are all pretty standard parts of our society. They shouldn't be. Women in pornography are often underage and drugged, having been trafficked so they could be exploited. Men and women who stereotype women as being only one exaggerated personality trait-nag, killjoy, bitch-pave the way for women to be looked at as less than human.
We don't have to support any of this, not with our money or time, not with our attitude. Rape is a symptom of a bigger problem, and that problem is women being viewed as property as opposed to God-created souls with a purpose. Kill this disease at the root.
I remember telling my dad that I was sure if he had sons the rules in our house for curfews and dating and parties would be different. He answered honestly by saying, "They would." As girls, we were taught from the beginning to be aware, to be alert, to understand the threat, and I resented it and still do. But I don't resent my dad for teaching me to do all of those things, though it doesn't always ensure safety. I resent the society that made him feel it was necessary.
My kids are growing up in that society, three girls and one sweet, sensitive guy. Will the rules be different for them based on gender? Will I have to tell my girls that part of their minds will always be distracted as they navigate life under constant unknown threats? Will they be forced to make extra perfect decisions just to avoid being blamed if anything bad happens to them? Dear Lord, I hope not. I hope at some point we all get fed up enough and men and women unite to stand as lookouts, to offer solace, to be the voice for those who have lost their own due to brutality. I really hope.
I don't know where to start because the word rape brings up way too much for most of us to deal with. But what I think about the most is how to talk to my kids about this when they're older. How do you explain such depravity, such hateful behavior? And how do you explain the Brock Turners of the world somehow managing to play the victim card after violating a woman so thoroughly? I don't know, friends. I really don't know.
Here's what I do know: I'm going to talk to my kids about rape, and these are the four things I know for sure I will say.
Always Look Through Helper Eyes
If you can help someone who can't help themselves, do it. Be the young man or woman who helps a friend out of a threatening situation. Keep your eyes open for the evil doers waiting to harm women, and try to be the person who doesn't let it happen. Feel empowered enough to make a difference, because you can.
Know When to Have a Conversation and When Not To
There were many people who, after finding out about Brock Turner and his dad's appalling letter to the judge, wanted to focus in on drinking. Not Brock Turner's drinking, the drinking of the woman he raped. Before they wanted to talk about the injustice of rape, about the craziness behind that letter, about this victim's rights, they wanted to talk about her drinking.
While there is a time and a place for every conversation, this was neither. It was especially insulting to hear Turner and his father blame drinking for Brock's irresponsible behavior, and therefore make his excessive drinking the reason why he shouldn't be punished, when the victim was told because she drank she deserved what she got. Apparently Turner deserved nothing for either getting drunk or raping an unconscious woman. And basically, he got nothing for it.
Such a sexist message is not helping the conversation we need to have about rape.
Rape is Everywhere
Date rape. Gang rape. Women raped while they were drinking or raped while they were sober. Women raped by strangers and raped by someone they thought they loved. We haven't given these women a safe place to come forward. The question "What were you wearing?" should not be one a person has to answer when reporting a rape. Threatening college girls with penalties for their behavior when they come forward to report a rape should be outlawed. Asking a woman if she was "violently raped" should earn the questioner a class on the definition of rape.
It's happening to your mothers and sisters and daughters and friends, and most of them have been shamed into silence knowing the Brock Turners of the world will walk away unscathed while the victims live out their nightmare over and over again.
Don't Put Up With Bad Behavior
Strip clubs and porn, sexist jokes and catcalling are all pretty standard parts of our society. They shouldn't be. Women in pornography are often underage and drugged, having been trafficked so they could be exploited. Men and women who stereotype women as being only one exaggerated personality trait-nag, killjoy, bitch-pave the way for women to be looked at as less than human.
We don't have to support any of this, not with our money or time, not with our attitude. Rape is a symptom of a bigger problem, and that problem is women being viewed as property as opposed to God-created souls with a purpose. Kill this disease at the root.
I remember telling my dad that I was sure if he had sons the rules in our house for curfews and dating and parties would be different. He answered honestly by saying, "They would." As girls, we were taught from the beginning to be aware, to be alert, to understand the threat, and I resented it and still do. But I don't resent my dad for teaching me to do all of those things, though it doesn't always ensure safety. I resent the society that made him feel it was necessary.
My kids are growing up in that society, three girls and one sweet, sensitive guy. Will the rules be different for them based on gender? Will I have to tell my girls that part of their minds will always be distracted as they navigate life under constant unknown threats? Will they be forced to make extra perfect decisions just to avoid being blamed if anything bad happens to them? Dear Lord, I hope not. I hope at some point we all get fed up enough and men and women unite to stand as lookouts, to offer solace, to be the voice for those who have lost their own due to brutality. I really hope.
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
August Book List
As August comes to a close, I'm in the middle of some wonderful books. These are the ones I finished this month.
Fiction
Alice and Oliver by Charles Bock: The writing of this story was beautiful though the tale was sad and the characters unsympathetic at times. Alice and Oliver welcome their first child and find out months later that Alice has cancer. Her fight to survive and Oliver's struggle to deal with all the technical aspects of handling disease tests their marriage. The book is honest and heartbreaking and not at all like any book I've ever read about couples dealing with cancer. It doesn't avoid the ugly, the unexpected, or the inevitable.
Siracusa by Delia Ephron: This was a quick read that surprised me and left me thinking about the characters and story way after I turned the last page of the novel. Told from the perspective of four different characters, Siracusa shows us marriages in turmoil set against a beautiful backdrop. The characters feel real, and the twists and turns this novel takes lead to an ending that is unexpected but realistic.
Historical Fiction
Like a River From Its Course by Kelli Stuart: Forty pages into this one I had to walk away. The writing is vivid, the story so real that I read it in small bits over a week. Like a River From Its Course tells the story of citizens living in Ukraine when the Germans break their treaty with Russia and decide to attack. As the stories overlap in places, a full, horrific picture comes into view. The biggest surprise was the hope Stuart managed to offer despite the topic she covered.
Everyone Brave is Forgiven by Chris Cleave: Be prepared to neglect the laundry, sleep, and your children when you pick this one up. Another WWII story, Everyone Brave is Forgiven is set mainly in London during the bombings between 1939 and 1941. It's historical fiction, a bit of romance, and a walk through the past that reveals injustices at home that had nothing to do with war. Despite the subject matter, Cleave manages to infuse the book with wit and snark using dialogue. Cleave's writing is poetry made into prose form, and though your heart will be broken over and over again, you won't mind.
Nonfiction
Patient H.M. by Luke Dittrich: If you've ever seen the movie Memento, then you are already somewhat familiar with Patient H.M. The movie was based off the real Henry Molaison, an epileptic whose attempt to have his seizures stopped using brain surgery led to him having constant amnesia for the rest of his life. The surgeon who performed Henry's surgery is Dittrich's grandfather, so this book is full of family secrets and details previously unknown.
Dittrich's skills as a journalist shine through as he juggles many different stories easily, tying everything together perfectly and saving some of the biggest punches for the end without making it feel contrived. Exploring this particular history, especially since his family was involved, couldn't have been easy, but he manages to stay objective, though the reader may have a hard time doing that. Also, lobotomies were sometimes performed with ice picks by people who did not have training as surgeons. That detail has been killing me, so I just had to put it out there so everyone else would have to deal with it as well.
Fiction
Alice and Oliver by Charles Bock: The writing of this story was beautiful though the tale was sad and the characters unsympathetic at times. Alice and Oliver welcome their first child and find out months later that Alice has cancer. Her fight to survive and Oliver's struggle to deal with all the technical aspects of handling disease tests their marriage. The book is honest and heartbreaking and not at all like any book I've ever read about couples dealing with cancer. It doesn't avoid the ugly, the unexpected, or the inevitable.
Siracusa by Delia Ephron: This was a quick read that surprised me and left me thinking about the characters and story way after I turned the last page of the novel. Told from the perspective of four different characters, Siracusa shows us marriages in turmoil set against a beautiful backdrop. The characters feel real, and the twists and turns this novel takes lead to an ending that is unexpected but realistic.
Historical Fiction
Like a River From Its Course by Kelli Stuart: Forty pages into this one I had to walk away. The writing is vivid, the story so real that I read it in small bits over a week. Like a River From Its Course tells the story of citizens living in Ukraine when the Germans break their treaty with Russia and decide to attack. As the stories overlap in places, a full, horrific picture comes into view. The biggest surprise was the hope Stuart managed to offer despite the topic she covered.
Everyone Brave is Forgiven by Chris Cleave: Be prepared to neglect the laundry, sleep, and your children when you pick this one up. Another WWII story, Everyone Brave is Forgiven is set mainly in London during the bombings between 1939 and 1941. It's historical fiction, a bit of romance, and a walk through the past that reveals injustices at home that had nothing to do with war. Despite the subject matter, Cleave manages to infuse the book with wit and snark using dialogue. Cleave's writing is poetry made into prose form, and though your heart will be broken over and over again, you won't mind.
Nonfiction
Patient H.M. by Luke Dittrich: If you've ever seen the movie Memento, then you are already somewhat familiar with Patient H.M. The movie was based off the real Henry Molaison, an epileptic whose attempt to have his seizures stopped using brain surgery led to him having constant amnesia for the rest of his life. The surgeon who performed Henry's surgery is Dittrich's grandfather, so this book is full of family secrets and details previously unknown.
Dittrich's skills as a journalist shine through as he juggles many different stories easily, tying everything together perfectly and saving some of the biggest punches for the end without making it feel contrived. Exploring this particular history, especially since his family was involved, couldn't have been easy, but he manages to stay objective, though the reader may have a hard time doing that. Also, lobotomies were sometimes performed with ice picks by people who did not have training as surgeons. That detail has been killing me, so I just had to put it out there so everyone else would have to deal with it as well.
Saturday, July 30, 2016
July Book List
It's summer in Texas. Avoid the heat by staying in and reading a book.
Fiction
The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick: I did things very backwards with this book. D and I watched the show on Amazon Prime first, then we grabbed the book. As crazy as it sounds, I think that's the way to go with Dick's story of what would have happened if Germany had won WWII. The book is very well written, but I don't think I would have understood it as well without first seeing the show. Plus, the show and book are similar, but they focus on different aspects of the story, so you're not going to have the whole thing ruined for you by watching first.
My Name is Lucy Barton by Elizabeth Strout: I loved this novel. It is one that can easily be read in one sitting. The language is simple, yet the story explores the depths of abuse, poverty, identity, and mother/daughter relationships.
If you enjoy this one, you might like: Outline by Rachel Cusk
Everything I Don't Remember by Jonas Hassen Khemiri: Due to a nameless narrator and the disjointed writing style, this one is not easy to get into. I thought about abandoning ship several times in the beginning, but I kept going. It was a good read, but after all the build up and suspense, I wasn't blown away by the ending. This fictional account is an interesting study in memory and different perspectives of the same story.
I'm Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid: This one was not a favorite, though I dare you to start reading it and then try to stop. It's suspenseful enough that I couldn't put it down, but the ending was less satisfying than I hoped for, and I figured out it was going to be about halfway through the book. Still, kudos to any author who can keep me reading even when I'm pretty sure I'm not going to walk away with a satisfied feeling.
If you like this one, you might like(or in this case, be mildly entertained by): The Forgetting Place by John Burley
The Unseen World by Liz Moore: I can't say enough good things about this one. I read a lot of good fiction this month, but this was my favorite. This story follows Ada, the son of computer science genius David, as she comes of age in the 1980s. When a mystery surfaces, Ada has to rely on her father's disinegrating memory and clues he leaves behind to find out who he is many years after she thought she already knew. The characters are unforgettable and the story unfolds beautifully in Moore's care.
If you like this one, you might like: The Doubter's Almanac by Ethan Canin or Version Control by Dexter Palmer
Historical Fiction
Girl Waits with Gun by Amy Stewart: Despite the seriousness of the title, this book was hilarious. It was also moving, suspensful, and full of information that makes me glad I was not a woman at the beginning of the 20th century. Girl Waits with Gun follows three sisters as they come up against a man who is bent on making their lives hell when one of them, Constance, demands payment for his wrongdoing. The story has flashbacks built in every few chapters, so the reader will feel a deeper connection with the characters as the story moves forward.
If you like this one, you might like: The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
Nonfiction
Half the Church Carolyn Custis James: I've been on an exciting journey for some time concerning women's roles in God's great plan, and Half the Church has been a welcome companion. Make no mistake: this is not a fluff piece. Rather it's a convicting, Biblically supported read that brings up many questions, like why do we applaud girls in countries where women are oppressed when they stand up and fight against a patriachal system, but find here in the states that boys attending Bible colleges name "submissive" as the number one characteristic that they look for in a wife? (That fact leads to many women within our churches submitting to abusive spouses and not coming forward for fear of condemnation.)
James explores these issues with grace and wisdom and presents the great truth that matters more than all the gender debates on the planet: God called women to be warriors right along with men. Women who choose not to participate and men who discourage women from doing so will have to answer to Him because there are too many people hurting in this world for us to bench half the church.
You Might Like: Half the Sky by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn
Fiction
The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick: I did things very backwards with this book. D and I watched the show on Amazon Prime first, then we grabbed the book. As crazy as it sounds, I think that's the way to go with Dick's story of what would have happened if Germany had won WWII. The book is very well written, but I don't think I would have understood it as well without first seeing the show. Plus, the show and book are similar, but they focus on different aspects of the story, so you're not going to have the whole thing ruined for you by watching first.
My Name is Lucy Barton by Elizabeth Strout: I loved this novel. It is one that can easily be read in one sitting. The language is simple, yet the story explores the depths of abuse, poverty, identity, and mother/daughter relationships.
If you enjoy this one, you might like: Outline by Rachel Cusk
Everything I Don't Remember by Jonas Hassen Khemiri: Due to a nameless narrator and the disjointed writing style, this one is not easy to get into. I thought about abandoning ship several times in the beginning, but I kept going. It was a good read, but after all the build up and suspense, I wasn't blown away by the ending. This fictional account is an interesting study in memory and different perspectives of the same story.
I'm Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid: This one was not a favorite, though I dare you to start reading it and then try to stop. It's suspenseful enough that I couldn't put it down, but the ending was less satisfying than I hoped for, and I figured out it was going to be about halfway through the book. Still, kudos to any author who can keep me reading even when I'm pretty sure I'm not going to walk away with a satisfied feeling.
If you like this one, you might like(or in this case, be mildly entertained by): The Forgetting Place by John Burley
The Unseen World by Liz Moore: I can't say enough good things about this one. I read a lot of good fiction this month, but this was my favorite. This story follows Ada, the son of computer science genius David, as she comes of age in the 1980s. When a mystery surfaces, Ada has to rely on her father's disinegrating memory and clues he leaves behind to find out who he is many years after she thought she already knew. The characters are unforgettable and the story unfolds beautifully in Moore's care.
If you like this one, you might like: The Doubter's Almanac by Ethan Canin or Version Control by Dexter Palmer
Historical Fiction
Girl Waits with Gun by Amy Stewart: Despite the seriousness of the title, this book was hilarious. It was also moving, suspensful, and full of information that makes me glad I was not a woman at the beginning of the 20th century. Girl Waits with Gun follows three sisters as they come up against a man who is bent on making their lives hell when one of them, Constance, demands payment for his wrongdoing. The story has flashbacks built in every few chapters, so the reader will feel a deeper connection with the characters as the story moves forward.
If you like this one, you might like: The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
Nonfiction
Half the Church Carolyn Custis James: I've been on an exciting journey for some time concerning women's roles in God's great plan, and Half the Church has been a welcome companion. Make no mistake: this is not a fluff piece. Rather it's a convicting, Biblically supported read that brings up many questions, like why do we applaud girls in countries where women are oppressed when they stand up and fight against a patriachal system, but find here in the states that boys attending Bible colleges name "submissive" as the number one characteristic that they look for in a wife? (That fact leads to many women within our churches submitting to abusive spouses and not coming forward for fear of condemnation.)
James explores these issues with grace and wisdom and presents the great truth that matters more than all the gender debates on the planet: God called women to be warriors right along with men. Women who choose not to participate and men who discourage women from doing so will have to answer to Him because there are too many people hurting in this world for us to bench half the church.
You Might Like: Half the Sky by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Museums and the Invention of Don't Lose Your Marbles
All of my parenting life I've wanted to ensure my kids didn't end up living near museums and not seeing them. This is something I've been thinking about since Wren was a baby. We tried in May to make it down to the Nasher and the DMA, but we stopped at Klyde Warren Park first which is where Wren gashed her chin open on a rock. Instead of studying works of art, I saw the meaty innards of my child's face. I just threw up in my mouth typing that.
We decided to try again a couple of weeks ago, but things got off to a rocky start. Sammy wanted to go on his individual date with D, which wasn't set to take place until the afternoon. Asher and Eowyn had some sort of dispute over a towel that got ugly fast. Wren did not want to be anywhere near "the park where I almost died and everyone saw me bleed." The museums she was cool with, but the thought of even being near the park caused quite a bit of anxiety.
D and I gave each other that look you give when you've planned a great day for your kids and realize they have the potential to ruin it before you even make it to the garage. You know the look. So I handed five marbles to all the people in the house over three and explained that if anyone whined, yelled, or otherwise acted inappropriately, they would have to sacrifice a marble. That included D and me.
For whatever reason, all of us did great that day. We hit two museums, Chipotle, and no one lost even one marble. At the first signs of bad behavior, one of us would warn the other, "Don't lose your marbles!" and we'd all laugh and recalibrate our thinking.
The weird thing is how well this worked for me. I did not want my marbles taken away from me by my school-aged children, and just the threat of that helped me reframe my words and focus on problem prevention and solving instead of just reacting emotionally.
Here are some pictures of our artsy adventures:
I wish I had a picture of the first time Wren and Sam saw a picture of one of the big paintings displayed outside the DMA. Eyes got wide, jaws dropped open. I will always remember it because it's what I want for them, to be surprised and amazed by art.
We decided to try again a couple of weeks ago, but things got off to a rocky start. Sammy wanted to go on his individual date with D, which wasn't set to take place until the afternoon. Asher and Eowyn had some sort of dispute over a towel that got ugly fast. Wren did not want to be anywhere near "the park where I almost died and everyone saw me bleed." The museums she was cool with, but the thought of even being near the park caused quite a bit of anxiety.
D and I gave each other that look you give when you've planned a great day for your kids and realize they have the potential to ruin it before you even make it to the garage. You know the look. So I handed five marbles to all the people in the house over three and explained that if anyone whined, yelled, or otherwise acted inappropriately, they would have to sacrifice a marble. That included D and me.
For whatever reason, all of us did great that day. We hit two museums, Chipotle, and no one lost even one marble. At the first signs of bad behavior, one of us would warn the other, "Don't lose your marbles!" and we'd all laugh and recalibrate our thinking.
The weird thing is how well this worked for me. I did not want my marbles taken away from me by my school-aged children, and just the threat of that helped me reframe my words and focus on problem prevention and solving instead of just reacting emotionally.
Here are some pictures of our artsy adventures:
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| Identifying art on a scavenger hunt. |
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| Eowyn in purple. This is her art appreciation face. |
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| The spinny chairs at the Nasher were a hit! |
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| Creating our own art at the DMA. |
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| My men |
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| My loves. |
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| D making my line creation look as sad as it really is. |
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| You guessed it. I made the lopsided hexagon. It took me several tries. I'm sorry Mrs. Walker, my tenth-grade geometry teacher. I know you tried. |
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| Waiting for fourth of July fireworks the same weekend as the museum visits. |
I wish I had a picture of the first time Wren and Sam saw a picture of one of the big paintings displayed outside the DMA. Eyes got wide, jaws dropped open. I will always remember it because it's what I want for them, to be surprised and amazed by art.
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