Recap: I have relaxed. Bedrest comes with good and bad, but none of it really matters as long as the girls are okay. We heard beautiful heartbeats today. They are good, so I am too.
Week 15: Prepare for c-section and try to find ways to make it…um, not sure of the word. Fun is not it, so we will go with less panicky.
I don’t know when these girls are going to evacuate or if we will have to go in and storm them out like my previous two. I do know having experienced two prior c-sections, I am no closer to being mellow yellow about my uterus hanging out outside my body and my kids missing all the benefits a vaginal birth has to offer. However, I’ve done the research since I don’t trust other people much, and D and I still feel this is the better route for the girls.
My goal this week is to find ways to try to stop the escape to the stairwell feeling. The prep is generally the hardest part for me because of too much anticipation, drugs going through my body, and just not liking the medicinal set up of c-sections. Plus, my feet get very cold and that trips me out.
To try to help with some of this I have packed furry socks for my hospital stay, I’m looking for pictures of the kids right after their births to remind me what’s on the other side of the scalpel, and I started working on Asher and Eowyn’s playlist. With every child I have put together a playlist of songs that mellow me out, assuming I would use them during birth. I could have used them during the c-section prep, but we were surprised both times and I didn’t have my ipod or the little speakers so I could play it in the room. I hope to be more prepared this time because music seriously affects my mood and can drown out tons of stress and anxiety. I may post some videos of songs on the list this week. It’s completely random, but that’s my brain.